Feeling Better

Finally I'm starting to feel better, although my port still hurts like crazy and I still can't move very fast and bending isn't an option. I finally got out of the house today for a little bit. I'm so glad I did this and I'm so happy with the results but I was totally wrong when I imagined how it would be after the surgery. I'm a crazy wreck! I don't even know how to describe it. It's just strange. It hurts if take too big of a breath, if i laugh, if i cough, if I hiccup(which for some reason I do a lot all of a sudden), if i turn wrong. Although I'm not hungry and I finally feel full, it's not the same kind of full feeling. It's strange. I want food. and not necessarily fast food or bad for you food. I want eggs and chicken and fish. I want vegetables. My protein shake tastes like crap now that I've had the surgery so now I need to find a new protein shake that tastes good. I ha vent been eating hardly at all but my weight is all over the place. I really need to stop weighing myself.I'm afraid I wont be ready for work on Friday and I'm scared. Everyone tells me I will be ready by then but how do they know. I don't want you to think I regret this because I don't even for a second, but all of a sudden I feel like I'm isolating myself by getting this done. It's strange, I have the best friends who have really been there for me through this but for some reason I still feel this way and I can't explain it. I think its the pain meds that's making me crazy so I can't wait to get off them.

Other than all the craziness going on in my own head the band has been amazing. Right after getting the band I would have this strange funnel feeling while drinking and that is starting to go away. I cant drink more than 1oz of water at a time which is nice because now I can finally get my protein shakes down even if it does still take me about an hour to drink the 8oz. The nicest thing about the band is that all my cravings are now in my head and not in my stomach.